Recently, I met two college going girls on two different occasions. Both shared with me their depression due to the man-woman friendship. They regretted that it would have been fine if the relationships had been avoided totally. Please don’t rush to any conclusion. I agree that it is a common feeling that today’s boys and girls do not have the maturity to think over any matter, they are always in a hurry and jump into relationships only to regret later. But the problem of these two girls was not related to their own relationships, it concerns the behavior of their parents. Savitha’s problem was related to her mother’s extra-marital relationship with another man and Pavithra’s problem was related to her father’s illegitimate relationship with a married woman. Pre-marital sex is condemned, but what about extra-marital sex?

The woman colleague of Pavithra’s father is the mother of two children. The efforts of both Pavithra and her mother to end the clandestine affair of Pavithra’s father with this woman had failed totally. As Pavithra’s mother is not even a graduate, she hesitates to leave her husband, especially when she has two daughters. She used to fight with her husband over this matter but her words carrying no weight, she stopped talking to him. Now, Pavithra’s parents are living under the same roof but they are not talking to each other. Pavithra and her younger sister are both mentally affected because of this situation. When there’s nobody to guarantee their future, it is but natural that they feel insecure. And, how can we expect them to have faith in matrimony? They cannot accept that the institution of marriage is sacred. When elders are not bothered to respect the prescribed conduct and limits, how can they teach or inculcate values in the mind of their children? The situation today is that marriage counselors and lawyers dealing in divorce cases are minting money. They’ve a flourishing practice.

The person, be it man or woman, who is having extra-marital relationship, might put forth a number of convincing arguments to justify his/her behavior. In many metros, this behavior is even considered as ‘advanced culture’! It is strange that parents who reprimand children if they expect variety in food cross the barrier to have variety in relationships! But India is a country where culture is respected at the most. If people here say that they would learn only after enough damage is done, then, who can save them? This mentality would ruin not only their own life but also that of the next generation. Fortunately in Tamil Nadu, this situation is still under control.