‘Expectation’ is the most interesting part of any marriage, but it is the biggest challenge too at once! The wife wonders what gift she would receive from her husband on the wedding day; the husband wonders whether his wife would wear the salwar-kameez presented by him for the week-end party! These are interesting and pleasant expectations though very trivial in nature. But, when we have to fulfill the expectation of the other which is not to our liking or against our policy, it becomes a challenge.

“She doesn’t know to cook according to my taste. I am telling her to learn it from my mother but she is not doing it,” the husband would complain. “He is living with his parents but he is annoyed if I visit my parents even just once a week,” the wife would grumble. When the other person is not cooperative even in matters of trivial importance, everything becomes a challenge.

It is possible that the boy and the girl meet more often before marriage and exchange their views. But their promises and understanding cannot be put in writing and stamped with their signatures as we do in the case of legal documents! And, we cannot put the condition that the one who violates the understanding would be liable for punishment! Understanding, flexibility, loving, sharing etc. are things that are spontaneous in nature, they happen out of our love for the other person. These things cannot be imposed on any one as stringent rules. Only these natural feelings and gestures go to make a strong foundation for the institution of marriage.

There are instances when interaction between the boy and the girl before marriage prove a fiasco. The duo to be married would go to a movie for ‘understanding’ each other. By going to a movie, they can understand only the director’s skills and ideas. It doesn’t in any way help them understand their prospective life partner. Important issues, policies etc. should be discussed during such interactive meets. And, both should decide after enough introspection whether they can prepare themselves to share their lives with the other.

After they got married, Anand told his wife Varsha that she need not strain herself by continuing in her job and that she could be comfortable at home looking after the household. But Varsha refused to leave her job telling that it was highly remunerative and that there was not much responsibility at home. But Anand insisted that he was drawing a very handsome salary and so there was no need for Varsha to continue in her job. Varsha argued that money was not the only consideration and that her career was involved. She got infuriated and asked Anand why he didn’t tell before marriage that she should leave her job after marriage. But Anand was adamant in insisting that he wanted his wife to be a good home maker who cared for her husband and the family. Fortunately, before the argument reached a point of no return, an agreement was reached through an open and matured discussion.

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