The mother-in-law, on her part, though anxious that her son should be happy, invariably becomes possessive after his marriage. Or, if she is a genuine person, problem might come in the form of her daughter-in-law. The daughter-in-law might not be a nice woman, might not understand the value of real bonds and love. She might want to separate her husband from his parents and take him away from the home he has thus far belonged to. In that case, the mother-in-law will feel totally disappointed and her anguish would increase if her own daughter is being treated as a slave in her in-laws’ home. And, naturally she’ll be forced to compare the two girls and their fate.
Most of the families face problems of these kinds with the severity varying in degrees. The basic reason for this kind of situation is the reluctance on the part of most of us to accept the new situation and circumstances that happen after marriage. The initial years of married life are usually marked with differences, grievances, complaints, arguments, silent opposition etc. If both the husband and the wife remain stubborn in their stand, not willing to forget their ego, then they’ll end up being unhappy, which in turn, will lead to loss of peace in the family. Some believe that nuclear family system would help avoid such situations. But, in reality, this also doesn’t help. The couple remains very affectionate and lovable for a few years, but differences creep in slowly leading to a major outburst requiring the couple to meet in the court for divorce.
Be it a nuclear family or a joint family, many issues can be cited as reasons for separation. At the same time, there are many things that ensure happiness even in a joint family. The initial few years of marriage should see that the bond between the couple is cemented well; the period should be considered as the period of ‘training’ for a happy marriage. The lessons we draw from our own mistakes will prove very valuable in sustaining the bond.
Looking back, in our marriages also there could have been many factors that could have eventually led to separation. But, we were able to take control of such situations because we never allowed ourselves to be dominated by our mistakes; instead, we rectified them and enabled ourselves to continue with our partners. If our child gets low marks in the examination, we surely take steps to improve the score in the future; we do not discontinue the studies. In marriage, the newly wedded are only students. We shouldn’t give up; we’ll gain wisdom from our own experiences.
We should see that marriages are not broken in the mid-way and that they last till the end. I am planning to start an ‘Orientation course’ that would prepare the men and women for marriage so that the institution of marriage is saved. The saying goes ‘Prevention is always better than cure’. The course will teach ‘prevention’.
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